Actually, eventhough it was almost like a long weekend, i didnt feel like relaxing and refreshing, because of stuffs and things to do and to think about. Indeed, a stressful mind could be a real disaster for holiday, on the other hand, just only with a relaxed and calmed mind, you dont really need a holiday. What do you think?
Nevermind, i have some of my things done, and it cheered me up for a bit.
Yesterday, i had a big family dinner. My cousin was coming to Jakarta from abroad, and brought along his wife. They just got married, and were on their honeymoon. What excited me most, his wife is a truly european woman, which means, she couldnt speak bahasa, and there was a big chance for me to talk with a native. hahaha.
You know, i have wanted this for a long time, to be able to communicate well with natives (bule), and practice my english conversation skill. And, after this long time, even after going abroad for holidays, i still havent got courage to speak english to them, even if i got chance. Even when i was abroad, i didnt talk much and practice my conv skill. Why? Because, i was too afraid that they wouldnt understand what i was saying, and it would only be a disaster. Silly me, i know, but somehow i was too afraid to try, because i was afraid to make mistake and to get failed.
I wasnt very confidence with my conv skill. Writing, yes, but conv, i didnt have much courage even to answer my friends' or boyfriend's question in english. I wasnt confidence with my english, compared to them.
But, yesterday, for the first time i could talked freely with a native, and she (seemed to) understood what i was saying hahaha (called me norak, i dont care haha). My cousin even praised me for my confidence in speaking english! (what??really?)
I dont mean to brag, because i still feel my conv skill is poor. But, i am very glad that i got the chance, and it really boosted my confidence. At least, now i am more confident to talk in english, because i found out that they (natives) would still understand and dont really care about my grammatical error. The essence of communication is to tell what inside your mind, and as long as they understand, it's mean that you can communicate well. (either you can communicate it well, or it's just them who are smart enough to understand your language *LOL). Not that i didnt know it before. I knew it very well, but it's just me who didnt have courage until i made myself doing it for real. The will to take the first step is always hard, huh? Of course, i still have to practice my pronounciation and conv skill, but the more i do the practice, the better i will be, i believe.
I guess i should thank her much, because of her i got this courage. Her name is kathy, my cousin's wife. She is really a high spirited woman, very cheerful, and very friendly. She has such an amazing personality. She is a teacher, (and i believe she is a great one), she is really smart, she can talk many language fluently, like germany (her mother tongued), dutch, english, and she is learning indonesian now. wow. The moment i saw her, i like her instantly. Maybe it was her personality which made me finally got courage to speak english with her and my cousin (i could prefer to be silent, you know). She has such a nice personality that she seemed very interested in everything i was saying to her, always nodding her head while i was speaking (tho i didnt know for sure if she really understood hahaha), and giving me full attention while talking to me. and she did that to everyone who was talking to her. Such a nice woman. My cousin is very lucky to have her hahaha.
And that's a picture of us.
Looking foward to see u again, Kathy! Next time, we would take you to see places around jakarta.
And, once again, thank you Teacher! :)
