i am wondering.....

i am wondering....

which one better, telling and showing the true emotion that you feel, or concealing your emotion, acting as if everything's fine and under control?

i am wondering..

if you were hurt when you werent supposed to be hurt, if you were sad because of nothing, or because of something that you shouldnt be sad,

which one better, showing that you're hurt and you're sad, but you have no reason and no right to be sad nor to be hurt or keeping your feeling for yourself and keep smiling in front of others?

i am wondering..

when you feel so sad and you feel like crying, but you know you have no reason to cry or you even dont know why you are sad and so desperately want to cry,

which one better, be a really melancholic person, and crying because of no reason, or being hard to your own self, and telling yourself to be tough, to grow up and be mature, and force yourself to smile.. even what you want to do is cry...

i am wondering..

which one better, sharing your weakness, your false emotion, your false perspective (when you know those are not right, and you are not supposed to have those emotion and those perspective) to someone you consider close to you just for sharing, for the sake of releasing your emotion, and taking the risk of getting hurt by their respond or judgement or pretend as if you never have those emotion, perspective nor weakness, and once again, keep your emotion and thoughts only for yourself..


well.. maybe there is no answer to my wondering thoughts.. i might already know the answer..

well.. once again.. life is all about choice, and every option has their own consequences..






9 november 2008
amadea