Tuesday, April 13, 2010

when i'm felling blue

Couple of days ago i was told that one of my friend has lost her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has passed away.

I was shocked. Speechless. Though she isn't a close friend of mine, tho i didn't know her boyfriend, still, i feel bad for her. Really.

I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be like her. And honestly, i am praying hard so He wont let that kind of thing ever happened to me. Please God, if i could ask, please don't let that thing happened to me. I don't think i could handle it.

I couldn't imagine losing someone so fast and so suddenly. As far as i know, her boyfriend has only been sick for a day, and the next day he has passed away. So fast. Without any chance to really say goodbye. Oh my.

And, i guess this bad news was the reason why i'm feeling blue recently.

I shed a tear when i watched some local movies on TV yesterday, without really knew why i was crying. I even wasn't in a bad mood nor in a gloomy mood yesterday. Just something in the movie, the love and the sweetness that touched my heart, somehow. Duh. silly me. I never ever cried for that kind of movie before.


I think deep down in my heart i hate this word more than i knew. Saying goodbye is never easy. And usually it left me with a kinda melancholic mood for a couple of times afterwards.

One of my biggest fear is losing someone who is precious to me. My family, my closest friends, my boyfriend. Sometimes i even wish that i would left earlier than them, so i wouldnt have to feel the sadness, the loss. But i know it was a very egoistic wish. Life is merely a gift from God. And all the living people still have missions to accomplish before they are going home. Many people struggling to live, and who am i, wishing for a chance to leave sooner than my dearest ones? No, i still want to live as long as He let me to. As long as He still has a mission for me to accomplish, whatever it is.

Still, i hate to say goodbye. I hate to feel the loss. Especially when death really do us apart.

But, what can i do? The time will come, sooner or later, and we really don't know how much time left for us being together.

I know, i know, things like this should have reminded me that we really are immortal creatures. And we should have be grateful for our togetherness, our moments together, for a chance that still left for us.

Again, i was reminded that i should cherish every moment i have, with anyone, for i dont know if i could see or meet them again.

At least i still get a positive thing for this melancholic mood haha.

For my friend who has just lost her boyfriend, I really don't know what to say. Deep condolences. I'm really sorry for your loss.

And, btw, thinking and writing like this also make me miss someone. I miss you :)


Vanya Alessandra said...

goodbye is hard when it's about death, but in some way, saying goodbye to someone you who's still alive is hard too... but again, that's life isn't it? there's hello and there's goodbye.

what we can do is just live our life like there's no tomorrow :)

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