when i'm felling blue

Couple of days ago i was told that one of my friend has lost her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has passed away.

I was shocked. Speechless. Though she isn't a close friend of mine, tho i didn't know her boyfriend, still, i feel bad for her. Really.

I couldn't imagine how it would feel to be like her. And honestly, i am praying hard so He wont let that kind of thing ever happened to me. Please God, if i could ask, please don't let that thing happened to me. I don't think i could handle it.

I couldn't imagine losing someone so fast and so suddenly. As far as i know, her boyfriend has only been sick for a day, and the next day he has passed away. So fast. Without any chance to really say goodbye. Oh my.

And, i guess this bad news was the reason why i'm feeling blue recently.

I shed a tear when i watched some local movies on TV yesterday, without really knew why i was crying. I even wasn't in a bad mood nor in a gloomy mood yesterday. Just something in the movie, the love and the sweetness that touched my heart, somehow. Duh. silly me. I never ever cried for that kind of movie before.

Goodbye.

I think deep down in my heart i hate this word more than i knew. Saying goodbye is never easy. And usually it left me with a kinda melancholic mood for a couple of times afterwards.

One of my biggest fear is losing someone who is precious to me. My family, my closest friends, my boyfriend. Sometimes i even wish that i would left earlier than them, so i wouldnt have to feel the sadness, the loss. But i know it was a very egoistic wish. Life is merely a gift from God. And all the living people still have missions to accomplish before they are going home. Many people struggling to live, and who am i, wishing for a chance to leave sooner than my dearest ones? No, i still want to live as long as He let me to. As long as He still has a mission for me to accomplish, whatever it is.

Still, i hate to say goodbye. I hate to feel the loss. Especially when death really do us apart.

But, what can i do? The time will come, sooner or later, and we really don't know how much time left for us being together.

I know, i know, things like this should have reminded me that we really are immortal creatures. And we should have be grateful for our togetherness, our moments together, for a chance that still left for us.

Again, i was reminded that i should cherish every moment i have, with anyone, for i dont know if i could see or meet them again.

At least i still get a positive thing for this melancholic mood haha.


For my friend who has just lost her boyfriend, I really don't know what to say. Deep condolences. I'm really sorry for your loss.



And, btw, thinking and writing like this also make me miss someone. I miss you :)